The Making of a Mistress: 3. The Empress

Card three of the Major Arcana is The Empress. The archetypal mother energy that raises the Fool in early childhood, representing abundance, nurture, fertility and feminity. When I think about my own Mother, she was closer to the Empress reversed: detatched or intrusively controlling, and as a child, I could not decide which state I liked the least. Of course, she was in a state of grief after Daddy died. Those of you who have read my stories will know about the summer that he left us, when his car rolled off the road and through a field of oilseed rape into the lake. The official cause were the faulty brakes on the old car, but I knew better – it was my fault. Or at least that was how I perceived it for years. And Mother did nothing to dissauge that idea. The very mention of Daddy in her presence and she would storm from the room and upstairs to her own, not to be disturbed. I would sit there in the dining room, staring at the minute hand of the grand clock as it ticked with a heavy air, lost in silence and guilt because I had upset her, and deep sadness because the comfort I needed most – she could not give…

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